Israel replaces brick in Wailing Wall. World decries “disproportionate land-theft”

Israel today replaced a crumbling brick in the Old City’s Wailing Wall with a new one, to the outrage of the international community.

In a press conference, US president Barack Obama condemned the act, calling it “despicable and disproportionate land theft”. Over in London, Foreign Secretary David Miliband took his dummy out of his mouth to say “yeah!”, and Prime Minister Gordon Brown added, “this situation in Australasia is intolerable. We call upon Peru to immediately withdraw it's cranes and cement from Finland”.

Israel is often provoking the international community by building things in it’s country, such as a long rail track that stretches right across the land from one end to the other, upon which trains run. The track means that people, including those with Jewish blood and who might even be religious Jews, have access to many parts of the country. Israel and Obama are already in dispute over Israel’s refusal to name the system “Palestine Rail”.

Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu has also threatened to allow people, including Muslims and Jews to plant Kosher trees in the land, and sell the produce to not only Palestinians, but other Jews as well.

Similarly, he has declared that buildings on the brink of collapse will be reinforced, even if Jews live in them, using methods he would not elaborate on - but that analysts suspect may possibly involve the controversial use of bricks and builders.

The world of Jewish-controlled media and politics has called on Obama to halt the manufacture of Kosher cakes in the US, unless Israel stops occupying itself through building schools, hospitals, houses, and other places that may be of benefit to, or prolong the existence of, a Jew. 

"It is for the Jews' own good that Israel stops acting as though it is a thing that exists", they said in a statement. "This will help the Jews gradually die out so that their suffering will end."

Obama has yet to respond to the proposal.