Guardian Reveals: Jewish Zionists In Israel’s Jewish Zionist Army

Extraordinary revelations from the Guardian:

In the large study halls, millions upon millions of young Jewish men are bent over religious books or debating in pairs the meaning of their extremist religious bloodthirsty texts. Many wear the large knitted kippa associated with the settler movement and extremist religious Jews – you know the type, those really Jewish Jews who study – and even practice – Judaism, and who might even live in some parts of Israel that Jews and Israelis say are part of Israel. A few have great big guns by their side which they shoot with wild abandon at innocent Palestinians.

This scene is typical in settlements all over the West Bank – all over Israeli towns in fact, as well as Jewish Homes Of Plotting, globally – where the hesder yeshiva movement has gained strength in recent decades. The programme, backed by the Israeli Defence Forces allows crazy religious Jews to combine intensive theological study with a shortened period of military service. Frankly, we can’t decide which is worse – a Jewish army, or Jewish studying.

For these young religious Zionist Zealots, serving in the army to defend the illegitimate state of Israel, even going so far as to try and protect the settlers from Palestinian murder attempts (which the Jews then use as an excuse to accuse certain Palestinians of trying to murder Jews), is a crucial element of a theology that at its centre has the horrific and sinister aim of sustaining the existence of the Jewish population.

But some critics fear the influence and advancement of these highly motivated soldiers could turn the traditionally secular IDF into an ideological instrument and create conflicts over whether the men's duty is to obey their rabbi or their commanding officer. Because whilst their commanding officers order these soldiers to run amok with their weapons killing innocent Palestinians for fun, the Rabbis would tell them to run amok with their weapons killing innocent Palestinians as their religious duty.

Gabriel Slater, 20, a hesder yeshiva student who will begin army service within weeks – so it’s probably too late to stop him - said the programme had helped him to develop strongly held ideological and religious goals, which are probably something to do with running amok shooting with wild abandon murdering Palestinians babies. "I have deep beliefs and I'm going to the army to fulfil them," he said, in a really deep, growly, threatening voice that would shake anyone to their very core. He expected to face dilemmas – "moments of difficulty" – in the military and planned to consult his rabbi if he felt he was being asked to "cross a boundary", suggesting that if asked to murder more Palestinian babies than he is comfortable with,  he will consult the Rabbi – who will most likely tell him to kill ten times more.

But there are bigger questions about whether such soldiers would agree to participate in military operations to evacuate Jews from West Bank settlements. If there is ever a peace deal with the Palestinians requiring a large-scale evacuation of tens of thousands of settlers, the issue could become critical. But if we’re denied the Jew versus Jew scenario, my suggestion is, just let the Palestinians drive them out. Brandishing their weapons, the Peaceful Palestinian Freedom Fighters For Peace will drive the Jews into the sea! Finally, a solution!

Pro-settler religious Zionists (unscaled levels of dangerous crazy!) are reaching the higher ranks of the military. According to the army magazine Bamahane, in 2010 one in eight of company commanders in ground forces came from West Bank settlements; the same year, a majority of top commanders in the elite Golani brigade were religious Zionists. Yes, it is hard to believe the chilling fact that in the army of the Jewish state of Israel, there are Jews – Jews who act like Jews! – who believe in defending the Jewish state! Hard to believe, but true. Seriously. I’m not lying. I swear on the Very Liberal Atheists’ Bible. 

BBC Airs Documentary “Normal Israelis”

The BBC has aired a new documentary called “Normal Israelis”. It looks into a group of people living in Israel called the Normal Israelis, who although previously unheard-of actually make up the majority of Israel’s population.

The documentary follows the lives of these mostly-Jewish people, as they go to school or work, play and bring up children, go to the cinema, cook, sleep, and celebrate things such as birthdays and weddings.

As well as occupying houses in cities from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, some of the Normal Israelis even live in areas in the West Bank, despite international criticism that Jews shouldn’t live where Palestinians don’t want them. These Normal Israelis are of the ideological view that them being Jewish and alive isn’t really a good enough reason for them not to own and live in houses in those areas.

But the one place in Israel you won’t find any Normal Israelis living is in the Gaza Strip. There everyone appears to be Palestinian for some reason, with not a Jew in sight.

The Normal Israelis hold an unusual and unique stance towards peace, compared with most of the rest of the world. They say they want peace, but strangely they also don’t want to be attacked by those who want to attack them – and they even support measures taken to prevent this! When they do come under attack, usually by rockets from Gaza, they will complain about this, claiming it goes against their ideology of not wanting to come under rocket attacks.

But the Normal Israelis are also quite similar to Normal Palestinians in some ways, for example they’re both forbidden to murder and stab people and stuff – even people they know - , and both are frequently questioned and checked by the Israeli army when they go through checkpoints, to ensure they don’t do these things.

Despite their normalness, perhaps the strangest thing about the Normal Israelis is that they say they don’t hate the Normal Palestinians, but at the same time they also claim not to hate Israel, some of them even going so far as to confess that they like some things about their homelandl!

A BBC spokesperson said of the documentary:

“We wanted to be fair and balanced, and to give an insight into all parts of Israeli society, as we hadn’t previously looked into the Normal Israelis. We’ve discovered they’re actually quite boring people though, so we probably won’t mention any of them ever again.”

Still Relevant...

A few months before I started this blog, I did a couple of pieces that were featured on Elder of Ziyon. Now that I do have this blog, I thought I may as well add them to my collection here. Even though they're from February 2009, they are still relevant as Israel is continuously, disproportionately blamed for that winter's war (and pretty much the whole Middle East conflict in general).

• The first piece is a spoof news story:

"UN: It's OK To Be Antisemitic... But Not Anti-Zionist

After many months of debate the UN has finally announced that it is acceptable to be openly antisemitic, but at the cost of being openly anti-Zionist.

A poll showed the majority of voters were in favour of sacrificing the ability to insult Israel for the sake of being to say what they really feel with regards to Jews.

"It was really tiring venting all my Jew-hate on Israel" one voter said. "Always having to say some sh** about Israel putting 10 million Palestinians in phosphorous chambers and causing a holocaust."

The ruling means that it is permissible, upon seeing a Jew, to shout insults such as "big nose" or "greedy f***er", and in some cases violence may also be acceptable, for example when the nose is extra large or the Jew is dressed very religiously.

However none of that applies to Israeli Jews, and the UN has warned of harsh consequences for those who say anything negative and untruthful about Israel, such as that Israel made up that it is fighting terrorists, Israelis are ugly, or that Israelis didn't invent falafel and hummus.

A UN spokesman said:

"For too long people have been holding the urge to express their disgust at the Jews' ugly conks and the fact that they're the ones who caused the recession, and that they control the media. We feel this is a positive move in giving people the freedom to express themselves in a healthy, honest way instead of always hiding behind the 'I'm not antisemitic, I'm anti-Zionist' defence.""

• My second item was a satirical poster for the now infamous antisemitic play, Seven Jewish Children (view large version here, thanks to EoZ).

Israel Eases Gaza Blockade; Welcomes Rocketfire Into Negev In Return

Israel has announced that it will ease restrictions on Gaza and allow exports into the West Bank and abroad, to help improve the economic situation in Gaza.

Israel reassured the Palestinians and international community that this would have no effect on Hamas' booming business venture, of firing rockets into Israel.

A statement affirmed "Israel concurs that Hamas can and should continue to smuggle in weapons from Egypt and then fire them into the Negev, where they are welcomed with open arms."

"If the Palestinians keep up this behaviour, we may soon legalise other uses of violence against the State. We only want to make things easier for you."

Hamas replied in a statement: "Thank you".

They then fired four mortars into Southern Israel, wounding one man with shrapnel in the neck.

Israel's response was swift: "Let us know if you need anything else."

Israel replaces brick in Wailing Wall. World decries “disproportionate land-theft”

Israel today replaced a crumbling brick in the Old City’s Wailing Wall with a new one, to the outrage of the international community.

In a press conference, US president Barack Obama condemned the act, calling it “despicable and disproportionate land theft”. Over in London, Foreign Secretary David Miliband took his dummy out of his mouth to say “yeah!”, and Prime Minister Gordon Brown added, “this situation in Australasia is intolerable. We call upon Peru to immediately withdraw it's cranes and cement from Finland”.

Israel is often provoking the international community by building things in it’s country, such as a long rail track that stretches right across the land from one end to the other, upon which trains run. The track means that people, including those with Jewish blood and who might even be religious Jews, have access to many parts of the country. Israel and Obama are already in dispute over Israel’s refusal to name the system “Palestine Rail”.

Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu has also threatened to allow people, including Muslims and Jews to plant Kosher trees in the land, and sell the produce to not only Palestinians, but other Jews as well.

Similarly, he has declared that buildings on the brink of collapse will be reinforced, even if Jews live in them, using methods he would not elaborate on - but that analysts suspect may possibly involve the controversial use of bricks and builders.

The world of Jewish-controlled media and politics has called on Obama to halt the manufacture of Kosher cakes in the US, unless Israel stops occupying itself through building schools, hospitals, houses, and other places that may be of benefit to, or prolong the existence of, a Jew. 

"It is for the Jews' own good that Israel stops acting as though it is a thing that exists", they said in a statement. "This will help the Jews gradually die out so that their suffering will end."

Obama has yet to respond to the proposal.